Mental health at Christmas — tips for looking after yourself and others

Advice
Written By Danielle Coleman

Christmas can be difficult for anyone, at any point in their life. You might be struggling this year for the first time, or you may have found Christmas difficult in the past and you're dreading it again this year.

Whatever Christmas means to you, your mental health might be affected during the festive period. This time of year often puts extra pressure on all of us, and can affect our mental health in lots of different ways.

For example, you may:

  • Feel alone, isolated, or left out because everyone else seems happy when you're not;

  • Wish you didn't have to deal with Christmas, or find it stressful because of other events in your life;

  • Feel frustrated by other people’s views of a ‘perfect’ Christmas, if these feel different to your experiences;

  • Struggle with the disruption to your usual routines, which might make it harder to manage your mental health; or

  • Find that your current mental health experiences make it harder for you to spend Christmas how you want.

“The expectation to be happy over Christmas can feel like a huge burden following you around. You might feel forced to be cheery and smiley, but in reality you are feeling like the weather — dark and grey.”

There are many factors that can make Christmas feel tough and may affect your mental health. These include things such as money worries, missing loved ones, loneliness, difficult situations and relationships, pressures from society, practical implications, and changes to support services.

If you find Christmas and new year a difficult time of year for whatever reason, here are some tips and suggestions to help you cope. Different things can help different people at different times, depending on your situation and how you’re feeling at any given time. Therefore, some of these tips may not feel helpful or relevant for you right now. Try some different things and see what works best for you.

Looking after yourself

  • Be gentle and patient with yourself

  • Remind yourself that it won't last forever

  • Set your boundaries and take time out if you need it

  • Let yourself experience your own feelings, whatever they might be

  • Plan something for yourself afterwards to look forward to

Talking to other people

  • Let other people know how you’re feeling if you are struggling

  • Tell people what they can do to help support you

  • Don't feel pressured to justify yourself to others

  • Join an online community to talk with others who might be having similar experiences to yours

Managing relationships

  • Think about how to end difficult conversations in advance

  • Suggest an an easy way to move on from unwanted situations

  • Talk about your plans in advance

Planning ahead

  • Make a note of what can help you manage difficult times

  • Plan to spend less time in difficult places and situations

  • Make a list of any services that you might need

“I’ve found the way of having a happiest Christmas is doing what’s right for me. Making careful choices who I spend my time with and keeping in mind that it’s just one day. The interactions I have with people throughout the year are just as important.”

Supporting others at Christmas

There are lots of reasons that someone in your life might find Christmas difficult. They might worry that they're a burden, or feel like they can't participate. Or they might have mental health problems that make some parts of Christmas more difficult. 

Here are a few tips that might help when supporting others:

  • Understand that Christmas means something different to other people, and may bring up very different feelings.

  • Let them know you understand Christmas can be difficult, and that you're there for them. Tell them they're not alone and ask what they think might help. Reassure them that it's common to find things hard at this time of year.

  • Listen to what they say, and accept their feelings.

  • Let loved ones know that you're thinking of them. If someone you know is struggling or feeling lonely at Christmas, it might mean a lot to them to hear from you.

  • Look after yourself — supporting someone else can be difficult.

Out-of-hours support available

If Christmas is a hard time for you, it's important to remember that you are not alone! There are many services providing out-of-hours support for those struggling with their mental health in any way. In an emergency, call 999 immediately.

Danielle Coleman
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